I Wore A Bikini


While we were on vacation, I wore a bikini. And I don’t just have a few stretch marks, I wasn’t “fit” before I got pregnant, only to be left with a slightly sagging stomach. I don’t just have a bit of cellulite on my butt from only 20 lbs. of weight gain during pregnancy. Nope. I was over-weight when I got pregnant, gained a nice 35 lbs, doubled the amount of stretch marks I got from my first pregnancy, and some how acquired new cellulite dimples and divets all over my thighs.

This is not a post about how confident and comfortable I am with my body despite its imperfections. While I’ve said before that I’m not rushing my weight loss, that doesn’t mean I love what I see every time I look in the mirror. I’m writing this post and sharing this picture, because it illustrates a genuinely happy moment. In this moment I didn’t care how much I weighed, I didn’t care how much motherhood had taken its toll on my body, I cared about having fun at the pool with Sophie, and that’s it.

I like this swimsuit. I think it looks cool, trendy, and flattering. Did I feel 100% confident in it? No. Do I want to cry when I look at toned pictures of myself on our tropical honeymoon from 4 years ago? Yes. But this is not about that. This is about [mostly] embracing who I was that day, in that moment. This is about throwing self consciousness to the wind in order to have fun with my daughter at the pool.

Nowadays, a woman is considered confident if she posts a picture, stripped down, in a bikini or less, and that’s not the message I want to perpetuate. I don’t think exuding confidence comes from showing off your body. As I said, I wore a bikini and did not feel confident. Also, just because a woman refrains from stripping down doesn’t mean that she’s self conscious. No, these photos aren’t pushing either agenda. These photos communicate a happiness to be alive and to be a mom.That’s why I’m sharing them, as a reminder to do what makes you happy, and not let what other people think stop you from wearing some thing that you think is cute, doing some thing that you’ll have fun doing, or making memories with your child.

I stumbled across this quote from Alyssa Milano the other day, that really captures how I feel, “Our bodies are not made to look good in a string bikini! Our bodies are made to nurture and cuddle and all of those amazing things that come along with being a mom.” When I saw this picture of Sophie and I at the pool, I saw a mom who was doing both. Having fun, feeling cute in a bikini despite not looking perfect by society’s standards because I am in the middle of caring for my girls. And that is just fine by me.

One comment

  1. crazy grad mama · April 29, 2016

    I know it’s not the point, but you do look awesome in that picture.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s