It feels like years have passed since I last posted! It also feels like whenever I do post now, it is just for a quick update! Well, such is the life of a mother. Unexpected, busy, and messy.
I’ve taken a part time job as one of our county’s sexual assault advocates. As you can imagine this is hard work, and can demand a lot of decompression time after a training or shift. So far, I haven’t had to work face-to-face with survivors, but the research and training a lone is rigorous and for me, can only be taken in small doses.
When I’m not doing that, I am trying as best I can to be present to my family and cherish them. Getting a first hand look at the atrocities humans commit against one another intensifies my instinctual desire to bond closely and love on my children. To leave them without a desire to look for an imitation of my love elsewhere, and to find certainty and confidence in it.
Both jobs have been equally exhausting and rewarding. As rigorously as predators are planning their evil, there are amazing humans planning prevention against them. My work has strengthened my faith in humanity more than it has robbed me of it.
In any case, that is why I have been so absent. I’m still taking time to care for myself. Zumba, weight lifting, tea, and books have all consoled me and relieved my stress at different times these past few weeks. J and I celebrated our 5th anniversary and have been making some plans to really focus on that success next month when the calendar is less congested. Until then, we are just taking it a day at a time.
Wishing you well, readers! Have a good week.
Before you ask, Yes, I have been taking my meds… and this is a story of how I turned a bad mom moment into a good mom moment.
It all started while Sophie was playing with chalk — well, it actually started early that morning when I woke up already feeling irritable and overwhelmed. Flash forward to Sophie coloring with chalk, one of the messiest summer activities. Cora was crying, we had a sink [and several counters] covered in dishes from a dinner party, and I knew Sophie was going to get brightly colored chalk all over the house if I didn’t clean her soon.
I set Cora in her crib, She was a bit fussy, but I knew she was sleepy and prayed that she would just fall asleep while I tackled the other problems around the house. I wanted to bathe Sophie in the sink, which I already said was filled with dishes. How can I wash both at the same time? I brought the dishes out and put them in Sophie’s kiddie pool as it filled with water, then I grabbed some soap, Sophie, and a sponge.
It took me 15 minutes to scrub all the dishes, and when I went back into the house, Cora had fallen asleep. So I went back outside and let Sophie play in the dirty water for as long as she wanted.
Once Sophie was finished and asking to go inside, we emptied the pool, then went in and loaded the dishwasher with our pool dishes. A beautiful butterfly kept us company the entire time. So, in a moment when I was feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and ready to shout… I did some thing that my toddler thought was awesome, while still managing to get the baby to sleep and the dishes done. And that is the story of when I did my dishes in the kiddie pool.