Last week my family was visiting from California [hence the lack of posting], and while it was a totally awesome visit, the girls are both completely off schedule. Sophie adapts pretty well to almost any situation, but the fallout with Cora has been excruciating. I’ve had lots of help though, and that has eased the transition back to our regular schedule.
I’m sure most moms are going through a variation of this experience as they transition their kids back to a school schedule. It makes me sad that summer is ending, but I have to be honest: I am looking forward to cooler weather, apple picking, Halloween planning, and getting to wear multiple layers which hid my baby weight!
I’m trying to take this week 1 day at a time. Getting caught up on laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming… it can be so overwhelming when I look at everything I want to accomplish in 1 week. If I just look at what I can accomplish today though, the work seems much more manageable. So far I have been running on coffee and donut fuel, so an other goal of mine is to get back to the clean eating. Sorry the posts have been skimpy this week. Be prepared for a full blown return to blogging next week. Enjoy the holiday weekend, y’all!
Before you ask, Yes, I have been taking my meds… and this is a story of how I turned a bad mom moment into a good mom moment.
It all started while Sophie was playing with chalk — well, it actually started early that morning when I woke up already feeling irritable and overwhelmed. Flash forward to Sophie coloring with chalk, one of the messiest summer activities. Cora was crying, we had a sink [and several counters] covered in dishes from a dinner party, and I knew Sophie was going to get brightly colored chalk all over the house if I didn’t clean her soon.
I set Cora in her crib, She was a bit fussy, but I knew she was sleepy and prayed that she would just fall asleep while I tackled the other problems around the house. I wanted to bathe Sophie in the sink, which I already said was filled with dishes. How can I wash both at the same time? I brought the dishes out and put them in Sophie’s kiddie pool as it filled with water, then I grabbed some soap, Sophie, and a sponge.
It took me 15 minutes to scrub all the dishes, and when I went back into the house, Cora had fallen asleep. So I went back outside and let Sophie play in the dirty water for as long as she wanted.
Once Sophie was finished and asking to go inside, we emptied the pool, then went in and loaded the dishwasher with our pool dishes. A beautiful butterfly kept us company the entire time. So, in a moment when I was feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and ready to shout… I did some thing that my toddler thought was awesome, while still managing to get the baby to sleep and the dishes done. And that is the story of when I did my dishes in the kiddie pool.
Like I mentioned on Friday, my brother is leaving today which has left me feeling a little empty. In addition, I’ve had this crippling anxiety about becoming a mom of 2, as well as stress about this house hunting business. It’s hardly like we’re packing up boxes and beginning the process of moving, but I’m still overwhelmed by the work that goes into being a first time home buyer.
Sophie is still working off the tail end of a cold she’s had for 3 weeks now. That by itself is enough to be exhausting, but taking into account the increase of contractions I’ve been having lately, I’m dealing with physical stress on top of the emotional stress. I’m not meaning to make this post a total whine-fest, but I have to be honest… this is an update, afterall.
Mostly I’ve been feeling guilt. When I was pregnant with Sophie, there was so much excitement surrounding her birth. Everyone wanted to touch my belly for a chance to feel her kicking, and besides comments about my size, this bump has all but gone unnoticed. I had months to carefully craft a gorgeous nursery for Sophie, while this baby got a cradle set up next to my bed, and that’s it. I believe every new life is unique and precious, which is why I have much guilt about the lack of reverence I’ve given my second child. Some of it has to do with circumstance in that, we don’t want to set up a beautiful nursery in our current home that we will be having to move out of… but talking with other moms of multiples, we all feel the guilt of our other children feeling like afterthoughts.
So pray for me, dear readers, as I wrestle with these thoughts over the next few weeks.